I put the pro in procrastinate.
Etc. – End of Thinking Capacity.
We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

It’s all fun and games, until someone calls the cops. Then it’s a new game; hide and seek.

If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

I’m gonna go take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it.

My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.