advice for your daugther from http://www.adviceformydaughter.com/

The “Right” Way is Not Always the Best Way
There are lots of books and websites that will teach you how to do everything from doing your makeup to balancing your bank account. Some of it is great advice…but sometimes, you need to just do what feels right.
Don’t do things because everyone else is doing them and don’t feel like you have to conform (unless you want to.)
I know you as a very inventive 22 month old girl. As you get older, your creativity may fade and you may start learning to do things the “right” way.
Just remember that it’s more fun to color outside of the lines. Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme (or have punctuation or capitalization). You don’t have to take table photos at your wedding. You can choose not to have a desk job. White walls and beige carpet are boring. Staying up late is fun. One true friend is better than 20 gossips. Rules are meant to be broken and pancakes make a great dinner.
Read. Learn. Find the best way to do something. Then do it your way instead.

Have a Bathtub….and Use It

    

Most people take showers. Showers are efficient. They can also be relaxing, but mostly, they are efficient.
When you buy your first home, be sure that is has a bathtub that you can use where nobody can bother you.
The great thing about baths is that they are a virtually free form of relaxation. Light some candles, put on some music, grab a magazine or a bath pillow and shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Silence.
Peace.
Escape.
It’s impossible to get away whenever life gets stressful, but you can usually find time for a quick 20 minute spa experience in your own home. Buy candles that you love and wonderfully scented bath oils or bath bombs. I know how special you are and I know that you deserve it.
Life can be tough. Please take care of yourself. You mean the world to me.

Believe

    

Believe that all things are possible.
Believe that you can do it.
Believe that there will be someone to catch you when you fall.
Believe that you are perfect just the way you are.
Believe that you have gifts that nobody else has.
Believe that dogs are your best friends.
Believe that Grandma’s lasagna is the best food in the world.
Believe that crying helps.
Believe that God listens.
Believe that people are usually good.
Believe in yourself….even if others don’t.

Love Something Passionately

    

“I don’t like country and western. I don’t like rock music, I don’t like rockabilly or rock and roll particularly. I don’t like much, really, do I? But what I do like, I love passionately.” – Pet Shop Boys
Most people have a dream of discovering what they were “meant” to do in life. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you learn what makes your heart dance.
Please try not to confuse passion with paid work…because they aren’t always the same.
I love music. I love writing. I love reading. I love dancing. I love learning.
I was fortunate to be able to spend the majority of my working years in the music business. I got paid to talk about music all day. I enjoyed the work, but doing the work is not the same as enjoying the music.
I still love music. I met your dad when I was a record rep and he was a music director. It is the foundation of who I am.
I’m not telling you this because I want you to love music. I’m telling you this because I want you to love something the same way that I love music. You may love snowboarding or gardening or archaeology or teaching. That’s something that you will learn through trial and error.
Sometimes you can get paid for what you love and that’s great. Sometimes you can’t and actually, that’s great too. Passion serves a much greater purpose than paying the bills. It feeds your desire to live deeply…to experience life.
I don’t know who you are going to be or what you are going to love, but when you do find something that moves you…embrace it and love it passionately.

Express Your Emotions

     

You feel things very deeply. When you are happy (which is most of the time) you are like a spotlight in the night sky…impossible to ignore and easy to follow. You make everyone around you so happy and you teach me what true joy is. I wish that you could always be happy, but I know this won’t be the case.
When you get frustrated, you explode and throw whatever is in your hands across the room. And that’s just fine. Embrace that frustration and work through it. When you are angry, let it out…then move on. To pretend that you are content, when you aren’t creates a facade. Be real.
Scream when you are angry. Dance when you are happy. Cry when your heart is breaking. Ache when you have done someone wrong. Smile softly when you are in love.
Life is a balance of yin and yang. Unfortunately, we can’t truly appreciate the sun on our face as we lie in the grass until we have also experienced the cold wind biting on our cheeks as our eyes water so badly that we can barely see in front of us.
I traveled through a forest filled with many obstacles that caused me deep pain on my journey to find you. At times, it felt like my heart was literally going to crumble. I screamed. I cried. I prayed….sometimes in a whisper and sometimes with a wail. And one day, God led me out of the darkness of the forest and into the warm sunshine. That’s when I was given the gift of you.
The pain that I felt, made the wonder of YOU so amazing that I am fearful every day that I will never be able to express to you how much I love you…really, REALLY love you.
Because I love you, I want you to know that it’s ok to feel whatever you feel and to express your emotions freely (sometimes privately or in a journal).
I’ve heard you squeal with happiness and I’ve seen you throw yourself backwards in anger. I know that your emotions will run deep.
So feel.  Be expressive. Don’t bottle up who you are. And know that I will always be here to listen.
Always.

Save. Share. Spend.

     

Piggy banks are used for saving money. But you have three piggy banks in your room. This is because it’s important for you to learn about the three ways to save.
For every dollar you get, 80 cents goes in the spend bank. 10 cents goes in the save bank. 10 cents goes in the share bank. Every dime that you ever receive is a blessing and blessings should not always be spent.
The first 10% is used to pay yourself first. This means that you put it away for the future. Always do this.  You need to invest in yourself first. When you get older, I will take you to the bank and we will open up a savings account where you can keep your money and one day you will be amazed at how much those dimes grew!
The second 10% is used to help others. You are excellent at sharing and it’s something that you should do for the rest of your life. Share your belongings, your gifts and your money. Who you give this money to is completely up to you. Dad and I will never tell you what you should do with your sharing money. Follow your heart and you will do the right thing.
The other 80% is for you. You can save it up for a special toy or whatever it is that you want.When you are older, try to live off of only that 80% as if the other 20% doesn’t exist.
When you make saving and giving a part of your life, you will make certain that both yourself and others are cared for.
And as your Great Grandpa always said, “You will never go broke giving to others.” Truer words were never spoken. Your Grandpa was one of the wisest men I’ve ever known.

It’s ok to Change Your Opinion     

If you are living life the way it should be lived, your education will not stop the day that you finish your last class. Everyone can teach you something and the more people you come in contact with, the more viewpoints you will be aware of.
Sometimes we believe things out of ignorance…we just simply didn’t have all of the information.
Sometimes we believe things because it’s how we were raised. Just because dad or I believe something doesn’t mean that you have to.
As you go through life, you will always be learning. Take in all of the information and formulate your own opinions. If something you defended fiercely when you were in high school, now seems wrong…change your mind. If someone that you loved or despised showed another side to them…it’s ok to change how you feel.
If you never change your mind about things, then you will never grow as a person. I will not always agree with you and sometimes I may disagree with you so much that I can’t even comprehend your position. But your opinion is YOUR opinion, not mine.
You are my daughter and I want you to continue to be a student in life and remember to take that knowledge and share it with your mom, because she is always open to changing her opinion.

Live Where Your Heart Feels Alive

     

You were born in a small town, live in a medium sized city and both dad & I are from big cities. We love big cities and start to feel claustrophobic if we are away from one for too long.
As you grow older, you will learn where you feel most at home. It may be a big city, the country, the desert, the ocean, the mountains. You may love snow or the beach. You may want to live where you know no-one. You may want to live where you know everyone.
If you love art, live near art. If you love great food, live near great food. If you love being close to family, live close to family.
Your environment is vital to your well-being. If it doesn’t suit you, you will stop flourishing. Palm trees are beautiful, but if you plant one in Wisconsin, it will wither away.
There are so many amazing places in this world. Go plant yourself where you can blossom and visit me often.

Yes, I’d Like Fries with That

     

If you are going to order a burger….you really should get the fries. You don’t (and probably shouldn’t) eat all of them, but to have a burger without the fries is denying yourself one of the greatest American pleasures.
Burgers are a treat, not a daily thing, but if you are going to splurge on the burger, then do it up right!
Yes! I’d like fries please!

Only Say “I Love You” if You Mean It

     

The word love is thrown around a lot. I love pizza. I love road trips. I love naps. Love can be used for a lot of things, but I Love You should be reserved only for people that you truly do love.
Don’t say it just because someone else says it to you. Don’t say it to make someone feel better if you don’t mean it.
I Love You is special. Love is special. But when you do feel it…say it over and over and over. When you really mean it, you feel like you can never say it enough.
And by the way…I really, really, really love you. [and I can never say it enough]

 

Single Parent Advice

If you've recently become a single parent, you may be feeling a little overwhelmed. It can be hard to get your head around the many practical implications of your new set-up, or you may be struggling to cope with feelings of loneliness. It takes time for everyone to get used to the transisition, and as a parent your main concern will be how to support your child through the process.
But it's important to look after yourself too, and to seek help if you need it. Which is where this page may help - it's designed to offer some basic advice for single parents - tips to help you keep your head above the water - and point you in the direction of other places you can go to for support.

Feeling alone?

It's hard, especially when the kids are in bed, you're exhausted and the house feels empty, but try to keep in mind that you're not alone - there are currently 1.9 million single parents in the UK. There are also lots of parent to parent support networks where you can meet in person and chat online, allowing you to talk to others who are in the same situation. You'll find details of websites where you can find out more at the bottom of this page.

Worried about your mental health?

Coming out the other side of separation is no easy feat, but many single parents suffer feelings of failure, depression and low self-esteem in the early days. Don't bottle your feelings up, but if you find it hard to open up to friends or family, you may find counselling or therapy can help - this provides a confidential, non-judgemental space where you can work through your feelings. Your GP should be able to put you in touch with services in your area.

Is work 'working out'?

You may be worried about keeping on top of your finances at the moment. But you may also be feeling stretched if you are doing the majority of the childcare and parenting. Now may be the time to ask about flexible work - your employer is legally obliged to at least consider your request. Just re-arranging your work commitments can take a huge stress off your shoulders. Visit our work pages to find out about flexible working and how to request it.

How are your finances?

You've probably already come to a financial arrangement with your ex, sorted out your new benefits and entitlements, and worked out a revised household budget. If this leaves you little to play around with, you may be feeling anxious - how will you entertain the kids, cover day trips and special events, or take them on holiday? Try not to worry that your kids are missing out. There are so many ways you can have fun together on a budget - browse our site for ideas on free fun, special offers and competitions, plus our nearly new and noticeboard are bargain treasure troves, packed with toys, clothes and other items.

Need a break?

It's important to take time out, either alone or with your children. If you need to get away from pressures at home, don't be afraid to ask a family member if they can babysit or have the kids overnight so you can have some time to yourself. Try to make the most of the times when your ex has the children - it's tempting to devote that time to housework or other mundane tasks, but if you can reserve just a bit of time to do something just for you (read a book, meet a friend for coffee, go for a run) you'll feel like you've had a bit of a break from domestic pressures.
Perhaps you'd all benefit from a change of scenery. There are several travel companies that arrange holidays for single parents, but if your finances won't stretch that far, think closer to home. Can you stay with friends for the weekend, perhaps? Getting away from it all can be a great tonic for both you and the kids.

Scared you'll never move on?

You will. Eventually your new circumstances won't feel so strange and things that felt like huge obstacles in the early days you will navigate with ease. You'll gradually fall into your own routine, and with the support of those who care for you and your family, single life will start to feel 'normal'. Like all stressful events in life, time can heal painful scars but do always keep in mind there are people and organisations that can help whenever you're struggling.

Cash Cash - Take Me Home ft Bebe Rexha [Official Video]

Advice for a Bad Day

First, remember how it's so easy to fall into negative thinking when you're feeling lousy. The mind has a field day making all kinds of projections about how things are going to be, based on a temporary down period. I don't think that progress is ever a steady uphill direction, for any of us... the body is adjusting in so many ways and there's bound to be a step backward for all the many steps forward we make.

But when you're feeling bad, the mind can overfocus on that and not see the bigger picture of what's really happening. So it's good to remind yourself (I have to do this all the time) that this is a longer-term process, and that the foundation we're building with the diet will have a profound impact on our health in so many ways.

I'm sure that the diet *does* work for everyone, in the sense that it's helping the gut to heal so it can absorb nutrients. There's just no better way to eat to promote the best intestinal health. Some people may need to also use other types of therapies, especially if there are stubborn critters to contend with like parasites. But I think that there's no sense ever giving up on the diet, because it can only help. Whether you need some extra help in addition, you'll be in a better position to know that after you've given the diet some time.

If you've had a virus, give yourself some time to get back on track, go very easy introducing new foods, and be very gentle with yourself. If you're taking the vitamins with zinc, the zinc especially can sometimes cause some stomach upset or queasiness, so you might cut back on that, or divide the dose or take them only with meals.

I think it might help just to tear your mind away from its habit of worrying about the future. My sister also teaches, and when she was sick she drove herself crazy with anxiety, "I have to get better by Monday!". I'm sure you know how that just makes things worse. Just remember that right now, you're doing the very best you can for yourself, and you can relax with that knowledge. How terrific that your daughter is loving the diet! Now *there's* something to obsess about :-)

I have times of feeling low, and crying's a good thing sometimes. But I never take any of my runaway thoughts seriously anymore, the ones that come up during those times. I don't know about you, but I give myself a lot of room for some temporary insanity!.. knowing that my perspective is all skewed during those times. It's just a rough spot to go through, that's all, and you'll get through it. And when you just can't "pull yourself out of it", to be very self-forgiving. This isn't a race or a matter of brute force, it's a matter of giving your body a chance to heal itself, and it really does most of that for you. I know it's easy to say "take it easy", but that's really how you move through this. Take some deep breaths and be good to yourself.