The Simple Phrase that Increases Effort 40%
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From New York Times bestselling author Daniel Coyle’s Talent Code Blog …
“To their surprise, researchers discovered that there was one particular type of teacher feedback that improved student effort and performance so much that they deemed it “magical.” Students who received this feedback chose to revise their paper far more often that students who did not (a 40 percent increase among white students; 320 percent boost among black students) and improved their performance significantly. (See the study here.)
What was the magical feedback?
Just one phrase:
I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.
That’s it. Just 19 words. But they’re powerful because they are not really feedback. They’re a signal that creates something more powerful: a sense of belonging and connection.
Looking closer, the phrase contains several distinct signals:
1) You are part of this group.
2) This group is special; we have higher standards here.
3) I believe you can reach those standards.”
“To their surprise, researchers discovered that there was one particular type of teacher feedback that improved student effort and performance so much that they deemed it “magical.” Students who received this feedback chose to revise their paper far more often that students who did not (a 40 percent increase among white students; 320 percent boost among black students) and improved their performance significantly. (See the study here.)
What was the magical feedback?
Just one phrase:
I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.
That’s it. Just 19 words. But they’re powerful because they are not really feedback. They’re a signal that creates something more powerful: a sense of belonging and connection.
Looking closer, the phrase contains several distinct signals:
1) You are part of this group.
2) This group is special; we have higher standards here.
3) I believe you can reach those standards.”
Losing Is Good for You
By Ashley Merryman, the co-author of the book “Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing,” and author of a recent NY Times Opinion piece “Losing is Good For You”
“In life, “you’re going to lose more often than you win, even if you’re good at something,” Ms. Twenge told me. “You’ve got to get used to that to keep going.”
“our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss”
“In life, “you’re going to lose more often than you win, even if you’re good at something,” Ms. Twenge told me. “You’ve got to get used to that to keep going.”
“our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss”
“I think the best traveling tip I have been given is to take a photo of where you park your car.”
Tweet by Alan Lepofsky …
“I think the best traveling tip I have been given is to take a photo of where you park your car.”
“I think the best traveling tip I have been given is to take a photo of where you park your car.”
Don’t worry about things we’ve already lost
From an article by Belle Beth Cooper in Fast Company titled 8 SUBCONSCIOUS MISTAKES OUR BRAINS MAKE EVERY DAY–AND HOW TO AVOID THEM …
“The term sunk cost refers to any cost (not just monetary, but also time and effort) that has been paid already and cannot be recovered. So it’s a payment of time or money that’s gone forever, basically.”
“The reason we can’t ignore the cost, even though it’s already been paid, is that we are wired to feel loss far more strongly than gain.”
For instance, if you buy a movie ticket only to realize the movie is terrible, you could either:
A) stay and watch the movie, to “get your money’s worth” since you’ve already paid for the ticket (sunk-cost fallacy)
or
B) leave the cinema and use that time to do something you’ll actually enjoy.
The thing to remember is this: You can’t get that investment back. It’s gone. Don’t let it cloud your judgment in whatever decision you’re making in this moment–let it remain in the past.
“The term sunk cost refers to any cost (not just monetary, but also time and effort) that has been paid already and cannot be recovered. So it’s a payment of time or money that’s gone forever, basically.”
“The reason we can’t ignore the cost, even though it’s already been paid, is that we are wired to feel loss far more strongly than gain.”
For instance, if you buy a movie ticket only to realize the movie is terrible, you could either:
A) stay and watch the movie, to “get your money’s worth” since you’ve already paid for the ticket (sunk-cost fallacy)
or
B) leave the cinema and use that time to do something you’ll actually enjoy.
The thing to remember is this: You can’t get that investment back. It’s gone. Don’t let it cloud your judgment in whatever decision you’re making in this moment–let it remain in the past.
“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”
Anders Holm, Comedian, “Workaholics” commencement speech at the University of Wisconsin-Madison …
“To get what you want out of life, all you can really do is find out who you are, and do that.”
“Practice being curious, want to know things, ask questions.”
“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”
“To get what you want out of life, all you can really do is find out who you are, and do that.”
“Practice being curious, want to know things, ask questions.”
“Consider what people think of you, but don’t be afraid of what people think of you.”
Best Parenting Tip Ever
From New York Times bestselling author Daniel Coyle’s Talent Code Blog …
For three decades, Miller and Brown made a habit of asking college-age athletes about the ways their parents had made a positive or negative impact. After several hundred interviews with a wide cross-section of kids, their informal survey had two insightful discoveries. Number one: what kids hate most, by an overwhelming margin, is the conversations during the ride home after the game. You know, that quiet, strained, slightly uncomfortable time when parents ask questions, give praise, offer critiques, and generally get involved by saying things like:
Great job today. So what happened on that play?
What did your coach tell the team after the game?
Do you think the team could have hustled more?
These types of moments, Miller and Brown point out, are well intentioned, and often contain truth, but the timing is toxic. The moments after a game are not the time for judgement or pressure and definitely not for instruction (which is the job of the coach, not the parent). In fact, many of the kids said they preferred having grandparents attend games, because they are more joyful and less pressurizing than parents.
But it’s not all bad news. Because there’s a second finding to emerge from their work, and it might be the best parenting tip I’ve ever read.
The kids reported there was one phrase spoken by parents that brought them happiness. One simple sentence that made them feel joyful, confident, and fulfilled. Just six words.
I love to watch you play.
For three decades, Miller and Brown made a habit of asking college-age athletes about the ways their parents had made a positive or negative impact. After several hundred interviews with a wide cross-section of kids, their informal survey had two insightful discoveries. Number one: what kids hate most, by an overwhelming margin, is the conversations during the ride home after the game. You know, that quiet, strained, slightly uncomfortable time when parents ask questions, give praise, offer critiques, and generally get involved by saying things like:
Great job today. So what happened on that play?
What did your coach tell the team after the game?
Do you think the team could have hustled more?
These types of moments, Miller and Brown point out, are well intentioned, and often contain truth, but the timing is toxic. The moments after a game are not the time for judgement or pressure and definitely not for instruction (which is the job of the coach, not the parent). In fact, many of the kids said they preferred having grandparents attend games, because they are more joyful and less pressurizing than parents.
But it’s not all bad news. Because there’s a second finding to emerge from their work, and it might be the best parenting tip I’ve ever read.
The kids reported there was one phrase spoken by parents that brought them happiness. One simple sentence that made them feel joyful, confident, and fulfilled. Just six words.
I love to watch you play.
“Live off your parents as long as possible”
Guy Kawasaki is a Silicon Valley venture capitalist. He was one of the Apple employees originally responsible for marketing the Macintosh in 1984. Guy’s advice …
“Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you, this speech will have been a success:
10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don’t get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.”
Link to speech Guy has given six times at commencements, graduations and baccalaureates.
“Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you, this speech will have been a success:
10. Live off your parents as long as possible.
9. Pursue joy, not happiness.
8. Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
7. Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
6. Continue to learn.
5. Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
4. Don’t get married too soon.
3. Play to win and win to play.
2. Obey the absolutes.
1. Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.”
Link to speech Guy has given six times at commencements, graduations and baccalaureates.
“If you want to play a game, go to where it’s played and find a way to get in. Things happen when you get in the game.”
The full quote from Chris Mathews speech to the 2006 graduating class of Fordham University …
“Today’s Rule One: Get Yourself In The Game!
Ever watch a little kid standing alone courtside while the big kids play basketball? When a ball goes out of bounds, he runs for it and passes it back in. And as time goes on, when an older kid has to get home for dinner, somebody yells, “Hey punk, wanna play?”
That’s the heart of it there: If you want to play a game, go to where it’s played and find a way to get in.
Things happen when you get in the game”
“Today’s Rule One: Get Yourself In The Game!
Ever watch a little kid standing alone courtside while the big kids play basketball? When a ball goes out of bounds, he runs for it and passes it back in. And as time goes on, when an older kid has to get home for dinner, somebody yells, “Hey punk, wanna play?”
That’s the heart of it there: If you want to play a game, go to where it’s played and find a way to get in.
Things happen when you get in the game”
“brag about your spouse and let them overhear you”
New York Times columnist David Brooks chatting with Alec Baldwin on his show Here’s the Thing …
“I am not smart on this but I did read a really good blog post on this. My wife would kill me if I started giving advice on how to do this. Marry someone really patient.
But I read this blog post and one of the pieces of advice was brag about your spouse and let them overhear you.”
“I am not smart on this but I did read a really good blog post on this. My wife would kill me if I started giving advice on how to do this. Marry someone really patient.
But I read this blog post and one of the pieces of advice was brag about your spouse and let them overhear you.”
“We Teach People How to Treat Us”
From Dr. Phil’s book Life Strategies …
Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.
You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others’ behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.
Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.
You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others’ behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.
“Get mad, then get over it.”
Attributed to Colin Powell (Chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, US Secretary of State). Interesting post written by Bruno Gideon titled Get mad, then get over it …
“Being angry is okay as long as it is temporary. My advice to you is: to get mad, then get over it. If you let your feelings continue, they will boomerang and hurt you. Don’t suppress the emotion; allow it to come to the surface, try to analyze it, and then let go.”
“Being angry is okay as long as it is temporary. My advice to you is: to get mad, then get over it. If you let your feelings continue, they will boomerang and hurt you. Don’t suppress the emotion; allow it to come to the surface, try to analyze it, and then let go.”
It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.
From Reddit user bradlee92 …
“It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.”
From a tennis blog …
“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect. So every time you repeat an action, right or wrong, you will find it easier to repeat that same action, right or wrong.
Practicing a bad shot will give you a better bad shot, but you will never look like Roger Federer.”
“It doesn’t matter if you spend 1000 hours practicing if you’re doing it wrong, all you learned is how to do it wrong.”
From a tennis blog …
“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect. So every time you repeat an action, right or wrong, you will find it easier to repeat that same action, right or wrong.
Practicing a bad shot will give you a better bad shot, but you will never look like Roger Federer.”
“Find a way to say yes to things.”
From Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google …
“Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new. Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids.”
“Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new. Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids.”
“Follow your fear … if something scares you a bit, it means that you should follow it a little bit
Tina Fey actress, comedian, writer and producer known for her roles on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock …
“Follow your fear, which in improv usually leads to someone making you sing an improvised song or rap, which is the worst thing that can happen. But the larger thing is the notion that if something scares you a bit, it means that you should follow it a little bit. Now, ‘follow your fear’ does not mean that you should get in the car with a weirdo in a small parking lot. But it does mean that there are moments in your life when something comes up, a chance to move to a new city, or the chance to study in another continent, read your short story out loud, and you feel a lot of fear. And that fear means that you should definitely do it.”
“Follow your fear, which in improv usually leads to someone making you sing an improvised song or rap, which is the worst thing that can happen. But the larger thing is the notion that if something scares you a bit, it means that you should follow it a little bit. Now, ‘follow your fear’ does not mean that you should get in the car with a weirdo in a small parking lot. But it does mean that there are moments in your life when something comes up, a chance to move to a new city, or the chance to study in another continent, read your short story out loud, and you feel a lot of fear. And that fear means that you should definitely do it.”
You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.
Katie Couric, TV Journalist …
“The losses I’ve experienced have taught me something else: We are all terminal. You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.
“The losses I’ve experienced have taught me something else: We are all terminal. You have to appreciate the gifts that every day of your life will bring: Your family. Your friends. A beautiful sky at sunset. A perfect ear of corn in August. The first snowfall of the year. A baby’s tiny hand. Be grateful for the time you have and savor the joy that comes your way.
“Whenever you meet anybody, look for something nice to say about them, because even if they’ve got a hideous face they might have fantastic ankles or lovely hair, and compliments do cheer people up enormously.”
Quote from author Jilly Cooper from a post titled The 101 best pieces of advice ever received …
“Whenever you meet anybody, look for something nice to say about them, because even if they’ve got a hideous face they might have fantastic ankles or lovely hair, and compliments do cheer people up enormously.”
“Whenever you meet anybody, look for something nice to say about them, because even if they’ve got a hideous face they might have fantastic ankles or lovely hair, and compliments do cheer people up enormously.”
“The more a person is committed to a goal … the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient.”
From a post titled “When Is a Negative a Positive?” on Freakonomics.com.
Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago …
“The more a person is committed to a goal — and by that I mean the more someone thinks that they absolutely have to do it, they like doing it, it’s important for them to do it — the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient”
Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia Business School …
“Look, doling out negative feedback is not fun. It’s embarrassing. We feel terrible. We feel guilty. So we love hearing, ‘Hey, maybe I don’t have to give negative feedback,’ ‘Maybe I can just say positive things!’ ‘If I just keep saying positive things, then somehow this person will work to their fullest potential and everything will turn out fine.’ And that just turns out to not be the case.”
Ayelet Fishbach of the University of Chicago …
“The more a person is committed to a goal — and by that I mean the more someone thinks that they absolutely have to do it, they like doing it, it’s important for them to do it — the more negative compared with positive feedback will be efficient”
Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia Business School …
“Look, doling out negative feedback is not fun. It’s embarrassing. We feel terrible. We feel guilty. So we love hearing, ‘Hey, maybe I don’t have to give negative feedback,’ ‘Maybe I can just say positive things!’ ‘If I just keep saying positive things, then somehow this person will work to their fullest potential and everything will turn out fine.’ And that just turns out to not be the case.”
“Get on the floor with your kids. They’ll come over and climb on top of you and relax. The more you can get on their level, the less problems you’ll have.”
From a wonderful article on parenting advice by Elliott Davis in the Boston Globe …
Debbie Leekeenan, Director, Eliot-Pearson Children’s School at Tufts University
“Allow your children the space to ‘fall’ so they can learn to get up. Teaching your child resiliency is one way to cope with life’s challenges. It is better to experience small setbacks when you are young and learn how to deal with them.”
Bob Monahan, Founder and owner, UPPAbaby
“Get on the floor with your kids. They’ll come over and climb on top of you and relax. The more you can get on their level, the less problems you’ll have.”
Chritine Koh, Founder and editor, BostonMamas.com; coauthor, Minimalist Parenting
“Present good, healthy options, but do not force-feed them. That translates to everything, including extracurriculars and other activities. It’s about giving your kids options and encouraging them to figure out what works for them.”
Alma Wahlberg, Works at son Paul’s Hingham restaurant, Alma Nove
“Pay attention to what your kids are doing. Be interested in everything they’re doing and be involved. Don’t just send them off to the game. Somebody’s got to go and watch.”
Jeff Kinney, Author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
“Use the phrase ‘I understand’ with your kids, especially when they’re angry or upset. I’ve found that by telling your kids that you’ve felt what they’re feeling — even if what they’re feeling is irrational — it lets them know you’re on their side.
Debbie Leekeenan, Director, Eliot-Pearson Children’s School at Tufts University
“Allow your children the space to ‘fall’ so they can learn to get up. Teaching your child resiliency is one way to cope with life’s challenges. It is better to experience small setbacks when you are young and learn how to deal with them.”
Bob Monahan, Founder and owner, UPPAbaby
“Get on the floor with your kids. They’ll come over and climb on top of you and relax. The more you can get on their level, the less problems you’ll have.”
Chritine Koh, Founder and editor, BostonMamas.com; coauthor, Minimalist Parenting
“Present good, healthy options, but do not force-feed them. That translates to everything, including extracurriculars and other activities. It’s about giving your kids options and encouraging them to figure out what works for them.”
Alma Wahlberg, Works at son Paul’s Hingham restaurant, Alma Nove
“Pay attention to what your kids are doing. Be interested in everything they’re doing and be involved. Don’t just send them off to the game. Somebody’s got to go and watch.”
Jeff Kinney, Author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
“Use the phrase ‘I understand’ with your kids, especially when they’re angry or upset. I’ve found that by telling your kids that you’ve felt what they’re feeling — even if what they’re feeling is irrational — it lets them know you’re on their side.
Toughness has nothing to do with size, physical strength or athleticism … I believe that toughness is a skill, and it is a skill that can be developed and improved.
From the book titled “Toughness” written by former Duke basketball player and ESPN Analyst Jay Bilas …
Toughness has nothing to do with size, physical strength or athleticism. Some players
may be born tough, but I believe that toughness is a skill, and it is a skill that can be developed and improved. Michigan State coach Tom Izzo always says, “Players play, but tough players win.”
Toughness has nothing to do with size, physical strength or athleticism. Some players
may be born tough, but I believe that toughness is a skill, and it is a skill that can be developed and improved. Michigan State coach Tom Izzo always says, “Players play, but tough players win.”
“If you want to be happily married, marry a happy person”
Advice from Julian Fellowes an actor and writer from a post titled The 101 best pieces of advice ever received …
The best piece of advice I ever received was from my mother: “If you want to be
happily married, marry a happy person.” I am glad to say I took her at her word.
The best piece of advice I ever received was from my mother: “If you want to be
happily married, marry a happy person.” I am glad to say I took her at her word.
Don’t try to change others
From a post titled Ten Relationship Truths(We Often Forget) …
“We all have tried this at one time or another, or at the very least in our minds we’ve wanted too, but we can not change others. The only person who can change YOU is YOU and that is the same for the other people in our lives as well. No, all we can do is tell someone about whatever is bothering us about them and who knows maybe they’ll try to change. It may be an annoying habit that is holding them back in more than one of their relationships, it’s always worth talking about. We can even lead by example, but at the end of the day we can never change someone else.”
“We all have tried this at one time or another, or at the very least in our minds we’ve wanted too, but we can not change others. The only person who can change YOU is YOU and that is the same for the other people in our lives as well. No, all we can do is tell someone about whatever is bothering us about them and who knows maybe they’ll try to change. It may be an annoying habit that is holding them back in more than one of their relationships, it’s always worth talking about. We can even lead by example, but at the end of the day we can never change someone else.”
“Every relationship needs a hero”
Advice from Dr Phil on DrPhil.com …
“They need somebody to step up and take it to another level. Not to be a right fighter, not to justify their behavior, but to say, This relationship needs a hero. I am going to rise above the fray, and I’m going to lead us out of this maze.”
“They need somebody to step up and take it to another level. Not to be a right fighter, not to justify their behavior, but to say, This relationship needs a hero. I am going to rise above the fray, and I’m going to lead us out of this maze.”
Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do.
Career advice from Steve Levitt co-author of Freakonomics …
“Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do. The worst thing in the world is to find some kind of job that everybody wants to do – like being a rock star.”
“You have to find something that is idiosyncratically something you love but everyone else despises. So if your dream is to be a garbage man, for instance, you’re guaranteed to have success in life.”
“Make sure that whatever you love doing is something other people don’t love to do. The worst thing in the world is to find some kind of job that everybody wants to do – like being a rock star.”
“You have to find something that is idiosyncratically something you love but everyone else despises. So if your dream is to be a garbage man, for instance, you’re guaranteed to have success in life.”
Take risks when you can
From a CNNMoney feature titled The smartest advice I ever got by Chris Larsen Founder, E-Loan.com and Prosper.com …
“Cut the lifeboats.” I heard this from Jim Collins, who wrote “Built to Last” and was the best M.B.A. professor I had at Stanford. He pleaded with the class, saying, “You’re young. You can fail two or three times, even lose all your money two or three times, and you’ll be just fine. Taking that risk puts you in the path of wealth.”
If he hadn’t said that, I probably would have taken a job, like a typical M.B.A., instead of founding a company. Starting my own business seemed so risky, but maxing out credit cards or even going bankrupt isn’t so risky if you do it at a young age. You’ll never regret taking those risks, but you might regret it if you don’t.
“Cut the lifeboats.” I heard this from Jim Collins, who wrote “Built to Last” and was the best M.B.A. professor I had at Stanford. He pleaded with the class, saying, “You’re young. You can fail two or three times, even lose all your money two or three times, and you’ll be just fine. Taking that risk puts you in the path of wealth.”
If he hadn’t said that, I probably would have taken a job, like a typical M.B.A., instead of founding a company. Starting my own business seemed so risky, but maxing out credit cards or even going bankrupt isn’t so risky if you do it at a young age. You’ll never regret taking those risks, but you might regret it if you don’t.
These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.
From Mike Rowe, host of “Dirty Jobs” from The Best (and Worst) Graduation Advice You Never Heard…
“That earlier bit about ‘not following your passion’ doesn’t mean that you should take a job you’re not passionate about. It means you should be passionate about whatever job you take. And if you aren’t, act like you are anyway. Get in early. Stay late. Always volunteer for the skut work. If I’ve learned anything from Dirty Jobs, it’s that meaningful work can be found anywhere — sewers, maggot farms, funeral homes, oil rigs. I’ve met hundreds of very successful entrepreneurs who go home every day covered in crap. Literal, actual crap. These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.”
“That earlier bit about ‘not following your passion’ doesn’t mean that you should take a job you’re not passionate about. It means you should be passionate about whatever job you take. And if you aren’t, act like you are anyway. Get in early. Stay late. Always volunteer for the skut work. If I’ve learned anything from Dirty Jobs, it’s that meaningful work can be found anywhere — sewers, maggot farms, funeral homes, oil rigs. I’ve met hundreds of very successful entrepreneurs who go home every day covered in crap. Literal, actual crap. These people love what they do, but they didn’t follow their passion down the road to job satisfaction — they brought it with them.”
“You can’t have everything you want, but you can have everything that matters to you”
Quote from Marissa Mayer, Google’s Vice President of Location and Local Services on Callie Schweitzer’s blog on Huffington Post …
“…she believes there’s no such thing as burnout — you can work really hard for the rest of your life as long as you know what matters most to you and make sure you get that.
What causes burnout, she said, is the build up of resentment at having to give up what really matters. Is it dinner with friends on Tuesday nights? A movie with your husband on the weekends?
Whatever it is, make sure you get it because otherwise you’ll spend the rest of the week resenting what you didn’t get to have — what work deprived you of, and you’ll be less productive.
“…she believes there’s no such thing as burnout — you can work really hard for the rest of your life as long as you know what matters most to you and make sure you get that.
What causes burnout, she said, is the build up of resentment at having to give up what really matters. Is it dinner with friends on Tuesday nights? A movie with your husband on the weekends?
Whatever it is, make sure you get it because otherwise you’ll spend the rest of the week resenting what you didn’t get to have — what work deprived you of, and you’ll be less productive.
“Sometimes quitting is strategic, and sometimes it can be your best possible plan”
From the a podcast titled “The Upside of Quitting” on Freakononmics.com …
“To help us understand quitting, we look at a couple of key economic concepts in this episode: sunk cost and opportunity cost. Sunk cost is about the past – it’s the time or money or sweat equity you’ve put into a job or relationship or a project, and which makes quitting hard. Opportunity cost is about the future. It means that for every hour or dollar you spend on one thing, you’re giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else – something that might make your life better. If only you weren’t so worried about the sunk cost. If only you could …. quit.”
“To help us understand quitting, we look at a couple of key economic concepts in this episode: sunk cost and opportunity cost. Sunk cost is about the past – it’s the time or money or sweat equity you’ve put into a job or relationship or a project, and which makes quitting hard. Opportunity cost is about the future. It means that for every hour or dollar you spend on one thing, you’re giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else – something that might make your life better. If only you weren’t so worried about the sunk cost. If only you could …. quit.”
“Be polite, don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
From a post titled 60 Ways To Make Life Simple Again …
1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.
2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps. Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.
1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.
2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps. Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.
‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
From a commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 …
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
“Do what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it”
From a post titled The best advice I ever received by Bob Borson …
“This has everything to do with you making someone elses life easier. You manage to do that on a consistent basis, people come to rely on you and know that you can be counted on. Eventually, you move beyond being the first choice and become the only choice.
The caveat to this advice is if you can’t follow through, you need to let someone know the instant you realize it.”
“This has everything to do with you making someone elses life easier. You manage to do that on a consistent basis, people come to rely on you and know that you can be counted on. Eventually, you move beyond being the first choice and become the only choice.
The caveat to this advice is if you can’t follow through, you need to let someone know the instant you realize it.”
“Let them know, in word and action, “I am behind you, I know you can do it!”
Parenting advice by Dr. Lisa Chu The many ways to say, “You CAN do it!” …
“I’m saying it so that you hear my belief in your spirit, in your ability to find it in yourself to do whatever it is you need to do, to take whatever time you need to, and to be wherever you are right now. I’ll be right here to witness you – to celebrate with you, and to catch you when you fall – as you learn to trust yourself.”
A post by Dr. Dave Currie titled Raising Confident and Secure Children …
“Build you kids up. Believe in them. Be their greatest fan. Let them know, in word and action, I am behind you, I know you can do it!”
From Dr. Michele Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions …
You might say, “I know you can do it. Hang in there.” Of course, when your son or daughter finds the task too difficult and quits, support them. Then help them recognize what they could do the next time so they do succeed.
“I’m saying it so that you hear my belief in your spirit, in your ability to find it in yourself to do whatever it is you need to do, to take whatever time you need to, and to be wherever you are right now. I’ll be right here to witness you – to celebrate with you, and to catch you when you fall – as you learn to trust yourself.”
A post by Dr. Dave Currie titled Raising Confident and Secure Children …
“Build you kids up. Believe in them. Be their greatest fan. Let them know, in word and action, I am behind you, I know you can do it!”
From Dr. Michele Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions …
You might say, “I know you can do it. Hang in there.” Of course, when your son or daughter finds the task too difficult and quits, support them. Then help them recognize what they could do the next time so they do succeed.
“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”
From Dr. Phil’s book titled Life Strategies …
“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.
If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”
“Get real with yourself about your life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn’t working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.
If you’re unwilling to acknowledge a thought, circumstance, problem, condition, behavior, or emotion–if you won’t take ownership of your role in a situation–then you cannot and will not change it.”
“Arguing Is Pointless”
From Peter Bregman of the Havard Business Review Blog Network titled Arguing Is Pointless …
“Think about it. You and someone have an opposing view and you argue. You pretend to listen to what she’s saying but what you’re really doing is thinking about the weakness in her argument so you can disprove it. Or perhaps, if she’s debunked a previous point, you’re thinking of new counter-arguments. Or, maybe, you’ve made it personal: it’s not just her argument that’s the problem. It’s her. And everyone who agrees with her.
In some rare cases, you might think the argument has merit. What then? Do you change your mind? Probably not. Instead, you make a mental note that you need to investigate the issue more to uncover the right argument to prove the person wrong.”
“Think about it. You and someone have an opposing view and you argue. You pretend to listen to what she’s saying but what you’re really doing is thinking about the weakness in her argument so you can disprove it. Or perhaps, if she’s debunked a previous point, you’re thinking of new counter-arguments. Or, maybe, you’ve made it personal: it’s not just her argument that’s the problem. It’s her. And everyone who agrees with her.
In some rare cases, you might think the argument has merit. What then? Do you change your mind? Probably not. Instead, you make a mental note that you need to investigate the issue more to uncover the right argument to prove the person wrong.”
“Life’s two most important questions are “Why?” and “Why not?” The trick is knowing which one to ask”
From a post titled The Best Advice Ever …
Understanding why we do certain things is the first step to change. Until we understand what motivates us, what we get from doing a particular behavior, there is no momentum to begin the change process. Likewise, by asking “Why not?” we begin assessing the risk versus reward aspect which can lead to bringing about productive change in our lives.
Understanding why we do certain things is the first step to change. Until we understand what motivates us, what we get from doing a particular behavior, there is no momentum to begin the change process. Likewise, by asking “Why not?” we begin assessing the risk versus reward aspect which can lead to bringing about productive change in our lives.
“Contrary to popular belief, praising children’s intelligence did not give them confidence and did not make them learn better.”
The advice comes Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of motivation at Stanford University from an article How Not to Talk to Your Kids written by Po Bronson and appeared in New York Magazine.
“Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”
The quote below are from Carol Dweck in an article that appeared on Good Morning America titled Why Praise Can Be Bad for Kids …
“Dweck found that children’s performance worsens if they always hear how smart they are. Kids who get too much praise are less likely to take risks, are highly sensitive to failure and are more likely to give up when faced with a challenge.”
“Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”
The quote below are from Carol Dweck in an article that appeared on Good Morning America titled Why Praise Can Be Bad for Kids …
“Dweck found that children’s performance worsens if they always hear how smart they are. Kids who get too much praise are less likely to take risks, are highly sensitive to failure and are more likely to give up when faced with a challenge.”
“Choose your battles wisely”
From an article at SixWise.com called How to Most Effectively Pick Your Battles …
We’re all given a finite amount of time in a day, and it’s up to each of us to determine how to spend it. In relationships (with kids, with a spouse, and so on), we’re faced with many conflicts everyday, and you may be tempted to fight through each of these conflicts, to ensure you get your way, to prove that you’re “right,” or maybe just because you feel challenged. But most experts agree: choosing your battles wisely is a much better way of life than battling out every disagreement.
Although they may seem important at the time, most battles are NOT worth fighting.
According to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.”
It’s up to us to choose to either make a big deal or simply let it go, and, according to Dr. Carlson, if you learn to choose your battles wisely, you’ll be far more effective in winning those battles that truly are important to you.
We’re all given a finite amount of time in a day, and it’s up to each of us to determine how to spend it. In relationships (with kids, with a spouse, and so on), we’re faced with many conflicts everyday, and you may be tempted to fight through each of these conflicts, to ensure you get your way, to prove that you’re “right,” or maybe just because you feel challenged. But most experts agree: choosing your battles wisely is a much better way of life than battling out every disagreement.
Although they may seem important at the time, most battles are NOT worth fighting.
According to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.”
It’s up to us to choose to either make a big deal or simply let it go, and, according to Dr. Carlson, if you learn to choose your battles wisely, you’ll be far more effective in winning those battles that truly are important to you.
“Have you created an environment that generates feelings of safety, security, belongingness, self-confidence and strength for the child or children in your charge?”
Questions for parents from Dr Phil’s book Family First …
- Are you creating a family environment that brings out the best in your child?
- Do you have the skills necessary to give your child his or her best chance at succeeding in this world?
- Do you have a plan and an objective in mind for what successful parenting is and will yield in your child’s life?
- Have you created an environment that generates feelings of safety, security, belongingness, self-confidence and strength for the child or children in your charge?
- Is your family nurturing your child’s individuality and acting to ensure that he or she will become the unique and authentic person God intended?
“Often wrong, but never in doubt”
Posted as a comment by Jack at Morality and Ideology …
I have an operational rule that I use in my own life. “Often wrong, but never in doubt.” I don’t mean that as a joke. In order to accomplish anything, you have to execute with confidence and certainty. On the other hand, you have to recognize that you will often be wrong. That means you must be willing to change. I know it is a paradox in theory, but it works in practice.
I have an operational rule that I use in my own life. “Often wrong, but never in doubt.” I don’t mean that as a joke. In order to accomplish anything, you have to execute with confidence and certainty. On the other hand, you have to recognize that you will often be wrong. That means you must be willing to change. I know it is a paradox in theory, but it works in practice.
“Prince Charming isn’t coming. To truly achieve financial security, your only protection is you”
From an article titled The best financial advice ever by Liz Pulliam Weston on MSN Money …
Barbara Stanny came from a wealthy family (her father was the “R” of the H&R Block tax preparation chain) and never learned much about handling money. After her first husband lost a good portion of her fortune and left her with a tax bill of more than $1 million, Stanny asked her dad to lend her the money to pay the IRS. He said no.
“That was the best thing he could’ve done,” Stanny said. Though he never said these exact words, the message was loud and clear: ‘Prince Charming isn’t coming. To truly achieve financial security, your only protection is you.’ That moment was the turning point for me.
Barbara Stanny came from a wealthy family (her father was the “R” of the H&R Block tax preparation chain) and never learned much about handling money. After her first husband lost a good portion of her fortune and left her with a tax bill of more than $1 million, Stanny asked her dad to lend her the money to pay the IRS. He said no.
“That was the best thing he could’ve done,” Stanny said. Though he never said these exact words, the message was loud and clear: ‘Prince Charming isn’t coming. To truly achieve financial security, your only protection is you.’ That moment was the turning point for me.
“You don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy”
A quote from Laura Karet, an executive from Giant Eagle supermarket chain on CNBC’s documentary Supermarkets Inc: Inside a $500 Billion Money Machine Laura Karet
“We’re very fond of the term ‘search and reapply’. And actually something my grandfather used to say … you don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy.”
“We’re very fond of the term ‘search and reapply’. And actually something my grandfather used to say … you don’t have to be smart, you just have to know who to copy.”
“It is better to be alone than in the wrong company”
I’ve seen this article It Is Better To Be Alone Than In The Wrong Company on several sites but I haven’t identified the source …
“Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.”
“Tell me who your best friends are and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.”
“Today is the only guarantee you get”
Villanova Commencement Address by Pulitzer Prize Winner Anna Quindlen …
“Get a life. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.
I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:
Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. Just keep your eyes and ears open, the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.”
“Get a life. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.
I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this:
Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. Just keep your eyes and ears open, the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.”
“Focus on those things you do better than others”
Advice is from Peter G. Peterson, Co-founder and Senior Chairman, Blackstone Group …
“Focus on those things you do better than others. That has been enormously helpful in defining our business strategies. For example, when we [Peterson and co-founder Steve Schwarzman] were setting up the Blackstone Group in 1985, many argued that Blackstone should invest in hostile LBO transactions. We felt that our advantage was that we were on friendly terms with many American CEOs and boards. So we took the contrarian position. We would only do strictly friendly investments. As a result, so-called corporate partnerships have become a major foundation – and a very profitable contribution – to our business.”
“Focus on those things you do better than others. That has been enormously helpful in defining our business strategies. For example, when we [Peterson and co-founder Steve Schwarzman] were setting up the Blackstone Group in 1985, many argued that Blackstone should invest in hostile LBO transactions. We felt that our advantage was that we were on friendly terms with many American CEOs and boards. So we took the contrarian position. We would only do strictly friendly investments. As a result, so-called corporate partnerships have become a major foundation – and a very profitable contribution – to our business.”
“I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them”
A must read for all parents, from Dr. Phil’s book Family First …
“I want and claim the right for my children to feel appreciated and valued by me and by everyone in our family. I do not want them to ever feel alone or doubt their place in a loving and committed family.
I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them. I may not endorse everything they do, but I will never reject them. If any member of this family feels like their contributions are not being recognized or acknowledged by others in the family, thats not okay-not now, not ever.”
“I want and claim the right for my children to feel appreciated and valued by me and by everyone in our family. I do not want them to ever feel alone or doubt their place in a loving and committed family.
I want my kids to know and feel they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them. I may not endorse everything they do, but I will never reject them. If any member of this family feels like their contributions are not being recognized or acknowledged by others in the family, thats not okay-not now, not ever.”
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”
From the book 7 Keys to Success by Will Edwards …
“ … we need to notice what is working and what is not; and be prepared to change our approach in order to get what we want – that is the essence of flexibility.
A wise person once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. That is a wonderfully true statement – in other words, if you continue doing exactly what you are now doing, then don’t be surprised when you don’t see any increase or change in your results.”
“ … we need to notice what is working and what is not; and be prepared to change our approach in order to get what we want – that is the essence of flexibility.
A wise person once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. That is a wonderfully true statement – in other words, if you continue doing exactly what you are now doing, then don’t be surprised when you don’t see any increase or change in your results.”
“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it”
From a wonderful article at WomansHealth titled Mother Knows Best: 10 Tips from Mom …
“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it. By that she meant to walk in with your head up and high (with) confidence. I find that’s been excellent advice. If you act as if you’re not worthy (of the job, the man, the respect), others will prey on that. But if you act as if you’re really something, that attitude will be contagious and others will respond accordingly!”
“My mom always told me to walk into a place as if I owned it. By that she meant to walk in with your head up and high (with) confidence. I find that’s been excellent advice. If you act as if you’re not worthy (of the job, the man, the respect), others will prey on that. But if you act as if you’re really something, that attitude will be contagious and others will respond accordingly!”
—brendacollins
“Let people know what you want, and then proactively work to achieve it”
From a post titled Get Ready for Promotion – Showing what you can do . Communicate your desire. Here are some steps you can take to make your wishes known:
- Identify a role or position toward which you want to work.
- Using your knowledge of the organization, find out what experience and skills are needed to get that job.
- Work with your boss to set performance objectives so that you can achieve the necessary skills and experience.
- Network with people in the company. Let as many people as appropriate know what type of role interests you. Seek advice on how to prepare for that role.
- Ask for the promotion when it becomes available. If you aren’t ready yet, use this as an opportunity to develop the skills you need.
“Life is not fair – get used to it”
Uplifting post from Lori Deschene titled 10 Reasons It’s Awesome Life’s Not Fair
“You may say life’s not fair—and I think you’d be right. But how does it serve us to dwell on that idea? Who benefits when we indulge bitterness, frustration, or anger? Or perhaps a better question is: who suffers?
I say we see we take this unavoidable truth and appreciate it for the possibilities it provides. Life isn’t fair, but that’s awesome because:
9. It encourages you to ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be a victim?” Every day we have countless opportunities to blame other people for situations in our lives. We can curse everyone from the mailman to the president for somehow screwing up our day. Or we can commit to taking responsibility for our future, and learn to repeatedly assess how we can accept and improve our life.
8. It reminds to appreciate what you have when you have it. It’s a harsh reality that you can lose anything at any time. Your boss could lay you off after a decade of loyal service; your husband could walk out the door even though you’ve been a faithful, loving wife. This tells me we need to cherish what we have at all times. And really, any reality that forces you to be present and grateful is a gift.
2. It allows you to experience really interesting situations (by Dani of Positively Present). Imagine if everything always went smoothly. You got everything you wanted, never struggled or dealt with hardships. Wouldn’t life be pretty boring? The “unfairness” we perceive in the world pushes us into unknown territory which makes everything more exciting, and gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves.”
Link to all 10 reasons
“You may say life’s not fair—and I think you’d be right. But how does it serve us to dwell on that idea? Who benefits when we indulge bitterness, frustration, or anger? Or perhaps a better question is: who suffers?
I say we see we take this unavoidable truth and appreciate it for the possibilities it provides. Life isn’t fair, but that’s awesome because:
9. It encourages you to ask yourself the question: “Do I want to be a victim?” Every day we have countless opportunities to blame other people for situations in our lives. We can curse everyone from the mailman to the president for somehow screwing up our day. Or we can commit to taking responsibility for our future, and learn to repeatedly assess how we can accept and improve our life.
8. It reminds to appreciate what you have when you have it. It’s a harsh reality that you can lose anything at any time. Your boss could lay you off after a decade of loyal service; your husband could walk out the door even though you’ve been a faithful, loving wife. This tells me we need to cherish what we have at all times. And really, any reality that forces you to be present and grateful is a gift.
2. It allows you to experience really interesting situations (by Dani of Positively Present). Imagine if everything always went smoothly. You got everything you wanted, never struggled or dealt with hardships. Wouldn’t life be pretty boring? The “unfairness” we perceive in the world pushes us into unknown territory which makes everything more exciting, and gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves.”
Link to all 10 reasons
“The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively”
According to the Harvard Business Review, “The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively”
In the book ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect’, John C Maxwell writes “the ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching you potential”. He defines “connecting” as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.
In the book ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect’, John C Maxwell writes “the ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching you potential”. He defines “connecting” as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.
“…wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you”
I found this quote on the site thinkexist …
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, that’s her.”
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, that’s her.”
“Make sure you are involved in a career that makes use of your top strengths”
The above quote comes from Leanna F. from a Linkedin post. More on the topic from an article written by Pat Ferdinandi titled What Are Your Strengths? …
“Why is this so important? Life is too short to be miserable for any length of time. You want to be useful and productive to your family, coworkers, and business. You want to be appreciated for your efforts. You are appreciated more if you find positions and companies that believe in your strengths.”
“Why is this so important? Life is too short to be miserable for any length of time. You want to be useful and productive to your family, coworkers, and business. You want to be appreciated for your efforts. You are appreciated more if you find positions and companies that believe in your strengths.”
“Be the best prepared guy in the room”
From a post titled The Single Best Piece of Business Advice I have ever Received. Advice from a banker with decades of experience chose to share this advice with the author of this post …
“He told me that if I wanted to succeed I had to prepare better; dig deeper to uncover the real risks; anticipate questions and objections in advance; and generally research more and speculate less. At one point he smiled and said – “Son, I’ve had a very long and successful career because I always aimed to be the best prepared guy in the room.”
This advice struck me like a thunderbolt and I never forgot it. Since that day 21 years ago it has been a bedrock principle for how I have operate. In times of uncertainty it has provided me with some protection from calamities occurring. It has reduced the number of “surprises” I encounter to a minimal level. Ultimately, it has stopped me speculating and providing opinions unless they are well-thought through.”
“He told me that if I wanted to succeed I had to prepare better; dig deeper to uncover the real risks; anticipate questions and objections in advance; and generally research more and speculate less. At one point he smiled and said – “Son, I’ve had a very long and successful career because I always aimed to be the best prepared guy in the room.”
This advice struck me like a thunderbolt and I never forgot it. Since that day 21 years ago it has been a bedrock principle for how I have operate. In times of uncertainty it has provided me with some protection from calamities occurring. It has reduced the number of “surprises” I encounter to a minimal level. Ultimately, it has stopped me speculating and providing opinions unless they are well-thought through.”
“You don’t know as much as you think you do. BUT you are capable of more than you can possibly imagine”
Advice is from Michael Hyatt to the Owen Graduate School of Management students and an inspiring response by Lindsey Nobles…
“What I love about these two simple sentences is that they get to the heart of the two things that have the ability to limit my success in life, and in leadership.
Pride And Fear.
I NEED to be reminded that I don’t know as much as I think I know. I need to approach my days with humility. I need to learn the art of listening with an open heart, and an open mind. And I NEED to be reminded that I am capable of more than I can would ever dare to imagine.
My fear limits my possibilities, my dreams, and my faith.”
“What I love about these two simple sentences is that they get to the heart of the two things that have the ability to limit my success in life, and in leadership.
Pride And Fear.
I NEED to be reminded that I don’t know as much as I think I know. I need to approach my days with humility. I need to learn the art of listening with an open heart, and an open mind. And I NEED to be reminded that I am capable of more than I can would ever dare to imagine.
My fear limits my possibilities, my dreams, and my faith.”
“If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging”
From the web site Paul’s Tips…
“In many cases it’s true that you shouldn’t give up too early. But at the same time, it’s a wise person who realizes when their efforts are futile.
The idea that those who keep sailing ahead despite all odds and “damn the torpedoes” are the most successful is a seductive one, and it has a certain element of truth to it. But at the same time, successful people also know when the best path is to quit. It’s simply not true that being a “quitter” is synonymous with being a “loser” in every single case. It’s time that myth was shattered.”
“In many cases it’s true that you shouldn’t give up too early. But at the same time, it’s a wise person who realizes when their efforts are futile.
The idea that those who keep sailing ahead despite all odds and “damn the torpedoes” are the most successful is a seductive one, and it has a certain element of truth to it. But at the same time, successful people also know when the best path is to quit. It’s simply not true that being a “quitter” is synonymous with being a “loser” in every single case. It’s time that myth was shattered.”
“the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do”
John Sculley, Apple’s former CEO talks about the “Steve Jobs methodology”…
“What makes Steve’s methodology different from everyone else’s is that he always believed the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do.”
“What makes Steve’s methodology different from everyone else’s is that he always believed the most important decisions you make are not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do.”
“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
From a post titled Is there something you want? Why not ask for it
“One of the big differences that I’ve noticed between those who get what they want and those who don’t comes down to one simple behavior – whether they’re willing to ask for it.
Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you’ll have a successful life or not.
Whether it’s for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy – asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.”
“One of the big differences that I’ve noticed between those who get what they want and those who don’t comes down to one simple behavior – whether they’re willing to ask for it.
Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you’ll have a successful life or not.
Whether it’s for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy – asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.”
“Manage your own career. No one else will”
From David Maister’s informative blog, Perspective on Careers …
- The cold, hard, truth is that you’ve got to look after yourself.
- You can’t assume that anyone is really looking out for your best interests (in spite of what they may say.)
- There may be a human resources department in your firm, managers, coaches and a mentoring system. But don’t get fooled. Your career is up to you and you alone.
- No one will tell you what experience you should be obtaining, let alone help you get it.
- If you want a specific experience, ask for it.
- Better yet, just go grab it.
- Do not expect that you will be promoted because you deserve it – it is unlikely that anyone is really keeping track.
- If you want to be promoted, ask to be promoted.
- Generally, things do not come to those who do not ask for them.
- None of this means you should be rude, disrespectful to others, or fail to be a team player. It just means don’t be naïve.
- In spite of what they may say, it’s up to you. You’re on your own, kid.
- Manage your own career. No one else will.
“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of better or good enough”
Quote by Voltaire. Its been said that life sometimes is more pass-fail than about scoring the highest grade. As Grethen Rubin writes in her article When “Good Enough” Is Better Than Perfect …
“In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.”
“In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.”
“The hardest thing to do is to start”
Simple and concise advice from Rebecca …
“Which is to say, nearly every task seems more difficult in anticipation than execution. Discipline is easy once you have momentum. Going to the gym is hard when you have to plan on going to the gym, and easy when it is simply what you always do on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Make a habit of doing rather than not doing.”
See the ten things that keep us from getting started at a post titled Whats Stopping you from Getting Started by Dustin Wax.
“Which is to say, nearly every task seems more difficult in anticipation than execution. Discipline is easy once you have momentum. Going to the gym is hard when you have to plan on going to the gym, and easy when it is simply what you always do on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Make a habit of doing rather than not doing.”
See the ten things that keep us from getting started at a post titled Whats Stopping you from Getting Started by Dustin Wax.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for”
Maureen Dowd is credited with this quote. Informative article written by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD titled Don’t Settle …
“Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don’t want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve. Settling becomes a habit and a way of life, but it doesn’t have to be.
People settle every day in every way. They settle for unsatisfying jobs, boring lives, and stale relationships. People settle in part because they don’t realize they can have better, or even that they deserve better. People also settle because of fear. Fear holds us back from embracing what we really want. According to Bo Bennett, “Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living, or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.”
The only way to truly embrace your greatness is to stop settling. You have to stop settling for a job that isn’t challenging, a life that isn’t fulfilling, and relationships that are uninspiring. Life is way too short to settle.”
read more …
“Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don’t want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve. Settling becomes a habit and a way of life, but it doesn’t have to be.
People settle every day in every way. They settle for unsatisfying jobs, boring lives, and stale relationships. People settle in part because they don’t realize they can have better, or even that they deserve better. People also settle because of fear. Fear holds us back from embracing what we really want. According to Bo Bennett, “Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living, or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.”
The only way to truly embrace your greatness is to stop settling. You have to stop settling for a job that isn’t challenging, a life that isn’t fulfilling, and relationships that are uninspiring. Life is way too short to settle.”
read more …
“You can be happy or you can be right. Pick one”
Must read advice for any husband. From a post titled Happiness Factor: Being Right Instead Of Happy …
“Giving up the need to be right is one of the first steps I believe that anyone needs to take to find the happiness that is inside you. This does not mean you agree with everything that anybody says but you accept someone’s opinion as that and if you feel it necessary to share your opinion you may consider doing it in a way that stresses that you are just looking to discuss, and not convert.”
“Giving up the need to be right is one of the first steps I believe that anyone needs to take to find the happiness that is inside you. This does not mean you agree with everything that anybody says but you accept someone’s opinion as that and if you feel it necessary to share your opinion you may consider doing it in a way that stresses that you are just looking to discuss, and not convert.”
“Negotiate Everything”
From a post title Everything is a Negotiation …
“In fact, it is more accurate to say that everything is a potential negotiation. Yet, in many situations, the effort to negotiate is not made. Fear, ignorance or complacency seem to be the usual suspects as to why we would not seek advantage.”
The post describes two techniques that are easy to master are the “flinch” and “nibbling.” …
“In fact, it is more accurate to say that everything is a potential negotiation. Yet, in many situations, the effort to negotiate is not made. Fear, ignorance or complacency seem to be the usual suspects as to why we would not seek advantage.”
The post describes two techniques that are easy to master are the “flinch” and “nibbling.” …
- “The flinch, which is one of my all time favorites, requires only that you respond to the offer, whether it be the price of a car, the insurance company’s settlement offer or the plaintiff’s demand, with a look of incredulity, then slowly repeat the offer as a question with a tone of utter disbelief. “$50,000?” Then, say nothing and wait for the other side to start making compromising gestures.
- Nibbling is where the buyer asks for ostensibly small benefits after the price has been struck such as free delivery, no sales tax etc. The individual concessions are small but when added up can be substantial.”
- Be prepared to walk – The most persuasive weapon you have in your haggling arsenal is your ability to walk away and spend your money someplace else.
- Offer to pay cash – Merchants don’t like to pay transaction fees to a credit-card company. Such fees are about 2 percent for large retailers and as much as 8 percent for small ones.
- are there any discounts or promotion you can apply to this purchase?
- is this the best you can do? OR is there something we can do about the price?
- is there a loyal customer discount”
“Build friendships with people who make you a better person”
From a articled titled Best Advice For Men but certainly applies to both genders…
“Build friendships with people who make you a better person. Hang out with people that bring out your best. You don’t need to abandon your old friends like everyone else tells you to. Just realize that maybe you need to alter those relationships a little bit in order to make room for people that are bringing out the best in you. If you’re lucky, your old friends are already doing that.”
“Build friendships with people who make you a better person. Hang out with people that bring out your best. You don’t need to abandon your old friends like everyone else tells you to. Just realize that maybe you need to alter those relationships a little bit in order to make room for people that are bringing out the best in you. If you’re lucky, your old friends are already doing that.”
“Take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back”
I can’t find the source of this quote but I’m still looking. Full quote …
“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.”
“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.”
“Underpromise and overdeliver”
From one of the best business minds ever … Tom Peters. I’m a huge fan of Tom Peters but I never have followed this advice. Not because I don’t trust or admire his judgement – but because I’m bored by the notion of “underpromising”.
The ”Underpromise and overdeliver” principle suggests it’s better not to promise something to your customer that you cannot keep than to under promise and to surprise your customer with good service.
I’ll admit, I’m torn on this advice but I tend to agree with this post by Chris Reaburn Service Rant: Underpromise, Overdeliver …
“Underpromise / overdeliver originated as a way for managers to advise their reports to manage expectations as an internal CYA, ensuring neither they nor their bosses would ever have to face the embarrassment of a missed commitment – a self-protective, “how to fulfill what is asked without failing / casting a negative light on our silo.”
The problem is that the first part of the equation gets fulfilled. Under committing is easy – it just means that you don’t promise to do as much as you know you’re capable of. But faced with someone not complaining about the level of care they receive, they forget to over deliver. Conserve resources. Get satisfied (lazy) delivering what is “good enough”. Ride the self-created perception of satisfaction rather than putting forth the extra effort to delight & surpass what the customer is expecting.”
Link to post …
The ”Underpromise and overdeliver” principle suggests it’s better not to promise something to your customer that you cannot keep than to under promise and to surprise your customer with good service.
I’ll admit, I’m torn on this advice but I tend to agree with this post by Chris Reaburn Service Rant: Underpromise, Overdeliver …
“Underpromise / overdeliver originated as a way for managers to advise their reports to manage expectations as an internal CYA, ensuring neither they nor their bosses would ever have to face the embarrassment of a missed commitment – a self-protective, “how to fulfill what is asked without failing / casting a negative light on our silo.”
The problem is that the first part of the equation gets fulfilled. Under committing is easy – it just means that you don’t promise to do as much as you know you’re capable of. But faced with someone not complaining about the level of care they receive, they forget to over deliver. Conserve resources. Get satisfied (lazy) delivering what is “good enough”. Ride the self-created perception of satisfaction rather than putting forth the extra effort to delight & surpass what the customer is expecting.”
Link to post …
“Rule 4 of Work: Carve Out a Niche For Yourself”
By Richard Templar Rule 4 of Work: Carve Out a Niche For Yourself and appeared in the Financial Times …
“The easiest way to get noticed at work (at least in the positive sense) is to find some specific way in which you are uniquely talented and use it to your advantage. Exceptional ability in a specific area will help you stand out more to the people who can promote you.”
“Carving out a niche means spotting a useful area that no one else has spotted. It might be as simple as being great at spreadsheets or report writing. It might be, like Mike, knowing something no one else does. It might be being brilliant with scheduling or budgets or understanding the system.”
Link to article …
“The easiest way to get noticed at work (at least in the positive sense) is to find some specific way in which you are uniquely talented and use it to your advantage. Exceptional ability in a specific area will help you stand out more to the people who can promote you.”
“Carving out a niche means spotting a useful area that no one else has spotted. It might be as simple as being great at spreadsheets or report writing. It might be, like Mike, knowing something no one else does. It might be being brilliant with scheduling or budgets or understanding the system.”
Link to article …
“Don’t let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs”
From the 7 Golden Rules of Life. The 1st rule …
“Don’t let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced.”
The 4th rule …
“When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.
Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours.”
List of all 7 rules
“Don’t let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced.”
The 4th rule …
“When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.
Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours.”
List of all 7 rules
“The earlier you identify a problem, the easier it is to fix”
I read this advice in a book a number of years ago and I don’t remember the exact wording or the book. The advice applies to software development, illness, relationships, engineering, learning disabilities, etc.
Interesting article by Michael A Roberto titled Go from Problem-Solving to Problem-Finding from the Financial Times.
Interesting article by Michael A Roberto titled Go from Problem-Solving to Problem-Finding from the Financial Times.
“Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand”
The above quote is a chinese proverb. Its been widely accepted - we absorb information best by using multiple senses. Make your impressions visual, verbal and auditory. I was not able to verify this study but there are several references to a study done at the University of Texas that found that people remember (Metcalf 1997):
10 percent of what they read;
20 percent of what they hear;
30 percent of what they see;
50 percent of what they see and hear;
70 percent of what they say; and
90 percent of what they do and say
10 percent of what they read;
20 percent of what they hear;
30 percent of what they see;
50 percent of what they see and hear;
70 percent of what they say; and
90 percent of what they do and say
“Avoiding family poverty requires three things: 1) finish high-school, 2) marry before having children and 3) marry after the age of 20″
Former Clinton domestic policy advisor Bill Galston … “avoiding family poverty requires three things:
- finish high-school,
- marry before having children and
- marry after the age of 20.
“To excel at something, immerse yourself”
From an informative post called 12 pieces of the best advice about money, life, and business …
“Dabbling in somethings doesn’t make you an expert. In order to become truly great at something, you have to live, breath, think, and dream it. Find every book you can read about the subject, start doing what they say, and teach others about it. You retain the highest percentage of what you learn when you share it with others.”
“Dabbling in somethings doesn’t make you an expert. In order to become truly great at something, you have to live, breath, think, and dream it. Find every book you can read about the subject, start doing what they say, and teach others about it. You retain the highest percentage of what you learn when you share it with others.”
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning to dance in the rain”
“It’s not what happens to you that matters most, but it’s how you react to what happens that does.”
“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”
Four inspirational quotes with a similar message. Unfortunately, we were only able to identify the source of the last quote. From Josh Billings …
“Life consists by in not holding good cards but in playing those you hold well”
“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”
Four inspirational quotes with a similar message. Unfortunately, we were only able to identify the source of the last quote. From Josh Billings …
“Life consists by in not holding good cards but in playing those you hold well”
“When you feel overwhelmed by a big problem, break it out into managable chunks”
This quote was posted by someone who goes by the name “cosette”.
“When you feel overwhelmed by a big problem, break it out into managable chunks and deal with them according to their importance.”
Good advice, but I’m not sure why its important to deal with them according to their importance.
“When you feel overwhelmed by a big problem, break it out into managable chunks and deal with them according to their importance.”
Good advice, but I’m not sure why its important to deal with them according to their importance.
“Study hard. Laugh often. Keep your honor”
This advice was taken from the book Wisdom of our Fathers written by the late Tim Russert, moderator of Meet the Press. He gave his son Luke this advice when he dropped him off at college his freshman year …
“Keep an open mind to new ideas and people with different views. Study hard. Laugh often. Keep your honor”
“Keep an open mind to new ideas and people with different views. Study hard. Laugh often. Keep your honor”
“Shut your mouth. Listen, ask questions, offer solutions. Make commitments not promises and follow up!”
Brandi Leyva submitted this comment to a LinkedIn blog post. It may be stating the obvious, but its wonderful advice nonetheless.
“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance: I hope you dance”
Lyrics to the song “I Hope You Dance” by Leann Womack …
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you’ll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking
Lovin’ might be a mistake
But it’s worth making
Don’t let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you’ll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking
Lovin’ might be a mistake
But it’s worth making
Don’t let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
“The most important thing to get right when selecting a job is how quickly the company is growing”
Career advice from Eric Schmidt, Google’s CEO …
“The most important thing to get right when selecting a job is how quickly the company is growing. Growth creates numerous opportunities for anyone who is contributing to the company’s success, whereas when companies stop growing, the careers of everyone, including very talented people, face severe challenges.”
“The most important thing to get right when selecting a job is how quickly the company is growing. Growth creates numerous opportunities for anyone who is contributing to the company’s success, whereas when companies stop growing, the careers of everyone, including very talented people, face severe challenges.”
…learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere”
Debbe Kennedy, President and Founder of Global Dialogue Center and Leadership Solutions Companies, one of her colleagues offered this advice.
“He mentioned that jobs, missions, titles, and organizations would come and go. He advised her not to focus her goals toward any of these, but instead learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere. He was talking about four skills:
1. The ability to develop an idea.
2. Effectively plan for its implementation.
3. Execute second-to-none.
4. Achieve superior results time after time.
So, forget what others do; work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.”
“He mentioned that jobs, missions, titles, and organizations would come and go. He advised her not to focus her goals toward any of these, but instead learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere. He was talking about four skills:
1. The ability to develop an idea.
2. Effectively plan for its implementation.
3. Execute second-to-none.
4. Achieve superior results time after time.
So, forget what others do; work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.”
“… there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home”
The best advice Warren Buffet ever received.
From an exclusive interview with Yahoo! News and the Huffington Post. Warren Buffet credits his father with teaching him how to live, and explained that all parents can make a “better human being”:
“The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.”
From an exclusive interview with Yahoo! News and the Huffington Post. Warren Buffet credits his father with teaching him how to live, and explained that all parents can make a “better human being”:
“The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being.”
“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
The first time I read this quote I thought of my wife. I enjoyed my bachelor years but I didn’t know what I was missing until I met her. She has her faults – but she is a person of integrity, brilliant, loyal, honest, hard-working, strong, courageous, positive, determined, and we laugh a lot even when we’re doing nothing.
“Think hard about who you marry. It’s the most important decision you will ever make. Devote yourself to your kids. Nothing else is guaranteed to make you happy”
This advice was taken from a graduation speech by David Brooks, journalist from the NY Times to the Wake Forest graduation class of 2007. The full quote …
“Over the years, we all pick up good advice. Spend a year abroad. It’s bound to change your life. Think hard about who you marry. It’s the most important decision you will ever make. Devote yourself to your kids. Nothing else is guaranteed to make you happy. The only thing I’d add is, create a posse of dead people. Create an entourage of heroes. Put their pictures on your wall, and keep them in your mind.
They will remind you of your place in the hidden river of wisdom. They’ll serve as models. They’ll give you an honest perspective on how you’re doing. They’ll remind you that your blessings don’t come from you but from those who came before you.”
“Over the years, we all pick up good advice. Spend a year abroad. It’s bound to change your life. Think hard about who you marry. It’s the most important decision you will ever make. Devote yourself to your kids. Nothing else is guaranteed to make you happy. The only thing I’d add is, create a posse of dead people. Create an entourage of heroes. Put their pictures on your wall, and keep them in your mind.
They will remind you of your place in the hidden river of wisdom. They’ll serve as models. They’ll give you an honest perspective on how you’re doing. They’ll remind you that your blessings don’t come from you but from those who came before you.”
“Start by waking up every morning and asking yourself: What can I do to make my family better? What can I do today to introduce something positive into my child’s lives?”
This advice comes from the book Family First by Dr. Phil. He goes on to say in a later chapter …
“My family can enjoy a closer, more connected life together, sharing strength, with each person feeilng affirmed and feeling uplifted in life-changing ways. Mine can be a family that attains new levels of caring, encouragement and acceptance. My family will have opportunities to reach for the best and have the best. And most important, we leave no one behind.”
“My family can enjoy a closer, more connected life together, sharing strength, with each person feeilng affirmed and feeling uplifted in life-changing ways. Mine can be a family that attains new levels of caring, encouragement and acceptance. My family will have opportunities to reach for the best and have the best. And most important, we leave no one behind.”
“When you choose the behavior you choose the consequences”
Often repeated quote by Dr. Phil. Interesting article by Linda Caillouet in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Dr. Phil says choices change lives …
McGraw told his audience that the choices people make directly affect the life changes they experience, saying, “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.” He then explained that the driving force behind the choices people make is something he calls personal truth.
McGraw told his audience that the choices people make directly affect the life changes they experience, saying, “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.” He then explained that the driving force behind the choices people make is something he calls personal truth.
“It’s what you believe about yourself when no one is looking or listening,” McGraw said. “We generate the results in this life that we believe we deserve.” So how can someone with an inadequate personal truth improve it? McGraw said that, instead of just “shuffling aimlessly through life,” individuals should look for and identify their Godgiven gifts and skills, develop passions and set personal goals and priorities.
“Children Learn What They Live”
The poem “Children Learn What They Live” by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris …
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
“Don’t worry about the things you can’t control”
I’m guessing I heard this advice many times in my life but it was only in the last 5 years I started adhering to it.
This advice has helped at many times in my life and particularly with dealing with my own mortality. I no longer spend hours laying in bed in a cold sweat worrying about death. It’s ok to care about the things you can’t control, but if you can’t change them, don’t waste energy obsessing over them.
This advice has helped at many times in my life and particularly with dealing with my own mortality. I no longer spend hours laying in bed in a cold sweat worrying about death. It’s ok to care about the things you can’t control, but if you can’t change them, don’t waste energy obsessing over them.
“Never marry a man who has no friends”
I read an interesting article a couple years ago by the NY Times Op-Ed columnist Maureen Dowd titled An Ideal Husband.
She credits Father Pat Connor, a 79-year-old Catholic priest born in Australia and based in Bordentown, N.J for this advice. The article includes the following quote …
“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends.”
Later in the article he is quoted …
“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours?”
She credits Father Pat Connor, a 79-year-old Catholic priest born in Australia and based in Bordentown, N.J for this advice. The article includes the following quote …
“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends.”
Later in the article he is quoted …
“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours?”
“Don’t Depend on Someone Else to Make You Happy”
I didn’t receive alot of advice from my parents but I did get this one from my mother. For some reason, this one always stayed with me.
While researching this advice I found an interesting article titled Top Ten Things to Teach Your Daughter written by Michelle Basile and published April 26th 2010. Michelle writes …
“A man enhances your life, not is your life: A mistake you see over and over again in young women is that they base their happiness on and around a man. A man should enhance your life, not become your life. Don’t depend on someone else to make you happy. Make yourself happy!”
This advice comes from emulzz …
“A real relationship happens when two people are happy with their lives as they are before they meet the other person, they don’t need someone else to be happy. And when these two independent people come together they realize that they may be happy alone, but this person gives them something to look forward to everyday of their life.”
While researching this advice I found an interesting article titled Top Ten Things to Teach Your Daughter written by Michelle Basile and published April 26th 2010. Michelle writes …
“A man enhances your life, not is your life: A mistake you see over and over again in young women is that they base their happiness on and around a man. A man should enhance your life, not become your life. Don’t depend on someone else to make you happy. Make yourself happy!”
This advice comes from emulzz …
“A real relationship happens when two people are happy with their lives as they are before they meet the other person, they don’t need someone else to be happy. And when these two independent people come together they realize that they may be happy alone, but this person gives them something to look forward to everyday of their life.”
“Love like you’ve never been hurt, Dance like no one’s watching, Sing like no-one’s listening, Live like there’s no tomorrow”
Again, there are many variations on this advice. We grouped these together because they all share a similar theme and tone.
This quote normally includes the phrase “Work like you don’t need the money”. Which sounds nice, but we don’t see the value of working like we don’t need the money? We like the positive message behind “Love like you’ve never been hurt”. The “Dance” & “Sing” parts are very similar and encourage stepping outside of our comfort zones. But the best piece of advice is “Live like there’s no tomorrow”.
This quote normally includes the phrase “Work like you don’t need the money”. Which sounds nice, but we don’t see the value of working like we don’t need the money? We like the positive message behind “Love like you’ve never been hurt”. The “Dance” & “Sing” parts are very similar and encourage stepping outside of our comfort zones. But the best piece of advice is “Live like there’s no tomorrow”.
“Find something you love doing and you’ll never work another day in your life.”
There are a couple variations on this but this advice clearly makes our “Life’s Best Advice” top ten. We’re not sure whom to credit but “Confucius” seems to be a popular choice on the internet.
We also like this related quote from Steve Jobs of Apple Computer …
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
And one more from Eric A. Raymond with a slightly different spin …
“You can not motivate the best people with money. Money is just a way to keep score. The best people in any field are motivated by passion.”
We also like this related quote from Steve Jobs of Apple Computer …
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
And one more from Eric A. Raymond with a slightly different spin …
“You can not motivate the best people with money. Money is just a way to keep score. The best people in any field are motivated by passion.”
“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”
From Anthony J D’Angelo. The quote below is from Mortimer Adler …
“The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as long as we live.”
“The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as long as we live.”
“No matter what you choose to do in life, always make sure you are creating value”
Comment from Monique Mazejka Marketing Manager at http://www.alanrosenspan.com/newsletters/issue_39.html …
“The best career advice I ever received was: No matter what you choose to do in life, always make sure you are creating value.”
“The best career advice I ever received was: No matter what you choose to do in life, always make sure you are creating value.”
“There’s a difference between being a quitter and wasting your time on something that’s never going to work”
And equal time for “never give up” folks. From Yvonne Thorton …
“Just keep trying! Never give up, never, never give up! Because the only person that can stop you is – you!”
Seeking advice as to how to know when something is never going to work?
“Just keep trying! Never give up, never, never give up! Because the only person that can stop you is – you!”
Seeking advice as to how to know when something is never going to work?
“The essence of a happy life is found in the quality of our relationships!”
I spotted this quote in a tagline on the a blog called Relationships Matters hosted by Sonja Ridden. Sonja quotes Dr Phil in a post on her site with related advice …
“The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.”
“The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.”
“Only one person gets to be an idiot at a time”
I found this marriage advice somewhere on wordpress.com but could not identify the source when I went back to locate it. I hope they see this post and come forward and claim it.
In our house, I’ll back off when I’m arguing with my wife is she is being a bigger idiot than me. I suspect she does the same when I’m the bigger idiot.
In our house, I’ll back off when I’m arguing with my wife is she is being a bigger idiot than me. I suspect she does the same when I’m the bigger idiot.
“It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit”
This quote is commonly attributed to Ronald Reagan (appearently Reagan had a sign on his desk in the Oval Office with this advice) but our research suggests Harry S Truman deserves the credit.
We also like this related advice from Indira Gandhi …
“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”
Our take-away is … 1) focus on results and not recognition. 2) people around you are more likely to help you work toward your goals if they feel their efforts will be recognized in the end.
We also like this related advice from Indira Gandhi …
“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”
Our take-away is … 1) focus on results and not recognition. 2) people around you are more likely to help you work toward your goals if they feel their efforts will be recognized in the end.
